She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
