So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
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