I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize