he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
