i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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