drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
