Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
be right there i have to get my cape
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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