I puked a lego.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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