To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
