i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
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