his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
