Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
