Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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