I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
