The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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