After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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