I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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