there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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