we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Randomize
