I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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