We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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