There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
You are a genius and a whore.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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