Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
it's like heaven, but drunker
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
try to milk me bitch
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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