We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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