Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
