hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
only you would photoshop your dick
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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