How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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