Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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