at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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