Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
If that was your dad, he is hot
Don't make out with my wife yet
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
