We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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