See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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