how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
