I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
