In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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