so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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