just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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