had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
