So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
