Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I wish I only lived at night.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
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