yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
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i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
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I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
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