ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
