idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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