I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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