I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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