bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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