well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
