I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
