so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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