so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
