She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
