My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
we should paint friendship bongs
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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