She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
