Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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