is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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