I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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