I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
