I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
