Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
