Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
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I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
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Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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