I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
